Considering The Advantages Of Hermitage (10/11/04)

Friday night I went out dancing with this girl L. She seemed cool and a nice person to have as a friend so I agreed to go even though I only knew her in passing. First stop of the evening was this local hotel bar, having a brand new Latin themed night. Music's good, drinks are free (turns out one of my old coworkers works at the bar now), ran into some other acquaintances at the door, and L. is a pretty decent salsa partner. Unfortunately because the nightclub is inside a hotel the clubs shuts down at 2 am (2 hours shy of usual last call). My other friends had to work early and being that the night was going pretty well L. and I decided to hit another bar.


Right here is where an otherwise perfectly good night out detours into trainwreck in its own deliberate way. First off L. starts getting hammered, which wouldn't have been that bad except for two tiny conditions:1. I got stuck with the bar tab (only 1 drink of which I imbibed)2.We both rode in her car. I don't have a license....who's gonna drive? (because it sure as hell isn't L.) She is an absolutely obnoxious drunk, alternating between confrontational and loud to being as randy as a sex addict who OD'd on ecstasy. She starts asking me if what people say is true,how I act in bed, telling me I'm beautiful ect. ect. Apparently homegirl's got a man and 2 kids but he's away a lot and she thinks fucking a girl isn't cheating. However she is very passionate about how she isn't gay...she wants girls as "fun" and how she won't let a woman go down on her, she wants to be the aggressor. I'm trying to play this off as drunken prattle when she makes the grand idiotic comment of the night about how I shouldn't have relationships w/ women exclusively because that's "being really gay, not just bi". If anyone can explain what the fuck that means I'll kiss you.


Pissed as I am, I am not enough of an asshole to leave her drunk ass in the bar for some date rapists to prey upon. Ever the gentle-femme, I bite my tongue, explain politely that although I am bisexual I don't believe in cheating,regardless of gender. She derides me incessantly for this and with an annoyed sigh, tries to stumble to the bathroom. I know full well she isn't gonna make it and walk her in, prepared to hold her hair back and hoping the bitch act gets upchucked along with the beer.This crazy bitch locks the door behind us and tries to rip my pants off! Normally a quickie with a cute girl in a public bathroom would be the stuff of excellent wet dreams or bad porn. In this case it was the most unerotic thing I have ever seen in my entire life. I push ms thing off me and she only makes feeble attempts to stumble towards my navel, slurring about "let me show you what I can do." It was horrendous. I'm not going to jeopardize a wonderful relationship for some drunken head from some attention deprived chick who wants to use the whole thing as some sort of desperate attempt for attention and power and probably only fucks with girls as a way of titillating men to fuck around on her boyfriend with.


You know what there is more to this story( like how I finally got home safe the next day to my wonderful, fantanomous Mr.Man (note: he is now my ex and a confirmed asshole) but I'm way to disgusted to tell it. Someone sane please be my friend....